I want to kill myself but I want to live. Right now I’m listening to Rascal Flatt’s “Why” and I don’t know what to choose. I know I don’t want to cause my family pain. I hate this. I don’t want to be the cause of their pain but I can’t take this unhappiness. A decade of sadness will kill anyone. Is life worth the fight? I want to kill myself. I don’t want to keep dealing with this pain. I love my family I do but I don’t want to keep dealing with this pain. I don’t want to keep hurting. I’m so tired of being hurt. I’m so tired of crying. I think that I’m really only here for my brothers. God help me please. I want to be here for my brothers but the pain is so much. Its too much. I feel so lonely. What do I do? He left. He doesn’t want to be with me anymore. He doesn’t love me anymore. Who would even want to love me? I’m horrible. Why am I still here? I’m so worthless. Why am I still here? I have to be strong for my brothers. I have to but the pain. God please help me. Is life worth the fight? Is it? I’m so tired of all this. I love my family but what am I supposed to do? I’m an ugly fay failure. I hope that there is a God.

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